Input: probably stealth and start moving in yeah that's we tug each other uh beyond being invisible you guys make your stealth check i mean i'm invisible and i rolled a five you have an advantage you roll twice cause you're both invisible thirteen twenty all right you both feel you're stealthed there's one opening into a hallway here we have does anyone have a laser light yep all right squeeze it together press the little button squeeze it together? ah there we go okay so we're gonna go down here down to this one as you guys step out you can see immediately there are two duergar guards right by a door that leads to a central chamber so we're gonna go this way all right immediately you see-- i like how you guys have different colored lightsabers two more duergar guards lightsaber noises all right i'm inching up i'm pulling scanlan behind me but i'm inching up to this door just peeking through seeing what i can see okay looking inside you can see these small symbols basically just red stone the glow stone that lights the underground caverns here and in a large portion of kraghammer are just embedded in the wall in a small sconce peering through here you see one against the wall you also see along the edges here what looks to be racks of spears and pikes and hammers and various war accoutrements of weapons just hanging and there's a set of armor over a small wooden arrangement the armor itself is just being stored there this looks to be like a fast grab armory okay i pull scanlan by the hand and we enter into this room this is so romantic it's just like the day we met sam you guys enter quietly walking this way we're past the door that looks like the front door it is the front door it is currently closed though we're gonna keep going this way oh man we're doing we're flanking just come out this way there is one duergar here there doesn't appear to be a doorway or entrance to the central chamber on this side of the hallway that's pretty good i still have the pitch in a bucket the shit in a bucket in my hand by the way we can take these guys i'm not worried about that but we'd make noise how far apart are the two duergar standing in that door they're about five feet apart just enough space like one is on each side of the doorway okay wait what are those red things right there those are the small sconces with the glow stone the red stone that lights the-- so we're trying to get there with greater invisibility so you can attack and you'll still be invisible i pull a gold coin out of my pocket and throw it in this corner this is straight up metal gear all laugh go ahead and just make a general dexterity check and because of keyleth i have advantage correct yes sure do so this is what is this just a dexterity modifier so that's a seventeen all right you-- coin ringing ringing sound both of the duergar kind of look over they look at each other grunt for a second this one nods her head and begins walking over to inspect it this one stays at its post metal gear voice must have been my imagination all laugh i pull scanlan behind me and tiptoe right behind this asshole do it put it in him and take out my vorpal blade and reach out and grab him by the hair and stick it in the back of his neck you got my dice all right so as you reach up you grasp the back of this really nasty wiry thick duergar hair i'm so tense right now you yank the head back and take the base of the blade go ahead and make an attack roll it's a surprise roll so you have an advantage on the attack okay good i believe you have a bonus too if you get the attack yes sneak attack? well i get yes i get advantage but you can't triple up on advantage i believe loud bang offscreen what was that that was to freak you out all right so just double checking here as part of your ability remember

Output: Using greater invisibility, the party stealthily navigated a hallway in Kraghammer, spotting duergar guards stationed at doorways. They discovered a small armory room filled with weapons and stored armor. To create a diversion, one member threw a gold coin, luring a single duergar guard away from her post. Taking advantage of the distraction, the party member then attempted a surprise assassination on the isolated guard with a vorpal blade.


Input: uh right now tense you yank the head back and take the base of the blade go ahead and make an attack roll it's a surprise roll so you have an advantage on the attack okay good I believe you have a bonus too if you get the attack yes like sneak attack uh well I get yes I get advantage but you can't triple up on advantage I believe what was that that was to freak you out all right so just double-checking here as part of your ability remember every 50 subscribers gets a free giveaway subscribe now kids what is that smile if you score it and the creature is surprised it is a critical hit that's the other thing I was going to mention thank you so this isn't a dexterity check this is an attack this is an attack okay so that's a 26 that is going to hit and that is a critical hit go ahead and roll damage with sneak attack yeah die die die I'm sweating okay that's two plus seven is nine that's nine that's just that part six seven nine fourteen and nineteen which is what's doubled the sneak attack damage the sneak attack damage and the dice damage and the dice damage nineteen plus is twenty-six fifty-two oh whoa as you pull the head back you can hear a slight a slight gargle is about as much noise as can make it out before the blade just right out the front of its throat blocking any passage of the air as you hold it you twist the blade it goes limp in your hand but you catch it and keep holding it there so it doesn't make any noise you're now clutching a dead dwarf guard easy easy night-night oh yeah lean him up against the wall like he's standing there just had a thought I'm gonna sit him back against the wall and let him slide against it and grab Scanlan and into the room into this room there's Scanlan he's still standing up kind of why is he leading Scanlan what's happening while I'm invisible I look around for traps I'm just gonna see if there's any trap doors go ahead and make a perception check not great I got a twenty-eight nine you notice no traps what you do notice though is there a giant kind of war room table at the top of this raised platform it's about six feet up and there's a stairway that leads up to it you see at the table one of the illithid mind flayers the armored general that you saw before and there are two other duergar currently at the table nope nope nope nope stay invisible we can't communicate you guys have got seconds until that other guard comes back we can't talk you hear footsteps behind you I put the bucket of shit into Scanlan's hands what are you doing give him a little nudge a gentle little nudge I step forward into the room and I hurl it at the fucker's face the mind controllers and I'm rolling behind him at the same time behind the illithid ready to go so I'll say you go up here as well oh yeah behind him behind him what is happening make a stealth check both of you oh god oh god oh god over extended wait do we get the plus ten to stealth no plus advantage oh thank christ nineteen using Scanlan's advantage so sixteen twenty-nine sigh okay you slink up behind seemingly unnoticed there's a slight twitch to the mind flayer's head for a second as you go ahead and take a big ol' bucket of shit and fling it go ahead and make an attack roll it would be you're not proficient with goblin shit buckets unfortunately so go ahead and roll a d twenty and add your dexterity groans my dexterity dexterity or strength whichever's higher strength higher no no strength is not higher for me oh it is higher so nineteen all righty oh my god you fling it as the invisibility spell wears off of you as part of the attack you fling the bucket a spray of thick green goblin fecal matter goes streaking through the air as the illithid turns its eyes wide to

Output: The party's rogue silently assassinated a dwarf guard with a surprise critical hit, twisting the blade to prevent an alarm before propping the body against the wall. While invisible, they scouted the chamber and discovered a raised war table occupied by the illithid general and two duergar. With another guard approaching, the rogue and Scanlan decided on a chaotic distraction. The rogue hurled a bucket of goblin feces at the mind flayer as their invisibility faded, initiating combat.


Input: uh roll it would be youre not proficient with goblin shit buckets unfortunately so go ahead and roll a d20 and add your dexterity uh my dexterity dexterity or strength whichever is higher strength higher no no strength is not higher for me oh it is higher so 19 all righty oh my god you fling it as the invisibility spell wears off of you as part of the attack you fling the bucket a spray of thick green goblin fecal matter goes streaking through the air as the illithid turns its eyes wide to see you suddenly appear and then suddenly see this entire batch of thick goblin shit just splashes across its face suddenly you see his tentacles writhing as it screams all of you hear in your head a scream im stabbing im stabbing i cast stoneskin immediately as this happens you cast stoneskin you go in for the blade and you hear a counter voice in your mind fuck clarota going now i cast light on grogs head your head comes to an extremely bright glow all of you averting your gaze this is stealth right stealth for me no youre invisible oh okay attack attack kill him 29 29 that definitely rolls to hit you have surprise go ahead and roll thats a critical right im assassinating this motherfucker its a critical technically yep were going for the general the illithid can control us all should we go in we dont know anything so roll damage on this roll my damage we just heard a scream oh we can act on that and i rage stone skin light on his head rage going into a rage daylight on my shield daylight on your shield im so happy to be here all laugh i will say for the purposes of this battle there is no trinket here because trinket would not have fit across the way to get there okay didnt you give her an arrow yes and you have an entrapment arrow now okay i get ready for that okay dm 62 into the back of his head oh shit 62 how critical hit you take the blade and as it pierces the back oh its a poison one by the way damn it pierces the back of its skull you feel the muscles in its neck tense in reaction to the blade but the blade slips past you can see a gout of purplishblack blood begin to spill from its neck as it instinctually reaches up and pulls the blade from the back of its head whats the dc on the poison i have no idea it should be on the blade info poison dagger fuck ah i think its oh its 15 this was a good plan the poison does not seem to take effect the body resists it it is still alive but its clutching the back of its neck as it turns around going sputters you can see its blood spurting out of its mouth and its eyes are now just burning with rage all the rest of these duergar are now reaching and pulling their weapons out everyone roll initiative all yell i dont have my stuff with me natural 20 oh shit lets kill some bad guys i dont know what youre doing all right so 25 to 20 20 natural 20 but you have no bonuses you should have your dex bonus too oh yeah thats a 25 so im gonna say youre probably going in first buddy yeah all right 20 25 to 20 anyone else oh i think i got like a 21 whatd you roll i got 16 plus yep thatd be 21 yeah all right so 19 anyone 19 19 nice no gonna wing it 18 anyone 18 nice i got 16 do you have like a picture or a file anywhere saved of your i got jack shit of your sheet we snuck into the war camp were in the war camp we all landed on the top of their main building so whats your 14 i have 16 16 all right so tiberius scanlan what was yours nine also nine not to brag ashleys first two rolls were

Output: The party executed a surprise attack on an illithid general within the duergar war camp, beginning with a thrown goblin waste bucket that revealed their position. A rogue landed a critical poison dagger strike to the creature's neck, but the poison proved ineffective as the illithid resisted it. As the wounded general screamed telepathically in rage, the rest of the duergar soldiers drew their weapons. The party then cast various preparatory spells like *stoneskin* and *daylight* before everyone rolled initiative to begin full combat.


Input: Nice uh no gonna wing it. 18 anyone? Uh 18 nice. I got like 16. Do you have a picture or a file anywhere saved of your... I got jack shit! Of your sheet? We snuck into the war camp. We're in the war camp? We all landed on the top of their main building. So what's your? 14. I have 16. 16 all right so Tiberius Scanlan what was yours? Nine also nine not to brag. Ashley's first two rolls were 20s. All right top of the round is Vax with initiative. I'm just gonna grunt in the back of his head some more I'm still invisible according to Tiberius' Greater Invisibility spell. No no no as soon as I cast Stoneskin you were attacking that's why I said this is all going... You are now visible you are not stealthed. Stab him in the back of the head. For assassinate do I get the critical still here DM? No you've gotten the one hit it is completely aware of you it is not a surprise attack. So this is a 28. It is so aware of you it has never been more aware of you in its life. All laugh. I just rolled a 28. Okay that definitely hits. Attacking with your off hand? Oh so this is my bonus attack? Yeah you get the one attack then you get the bonus hand which is just dice damage. Okay this is fire my flame tongue dagger I got two plus six is eight. Eight? Eight. All right and your other attack are you doing your bonus attack? Was that the bonus attack or was that my main attack? This is your new combat round that was your main attack. That's a nine and here comes my bonus attack okay 14. Kill him. 24. 24 hits. Here comes my keen dagger which is an eight. Eight damage? Yes. So the first strike you swing across with the flame tongue dagger as it backs up you put another gash across the front of its neck and chest area it reels back and is looking at you with angry fury you feel this coming shake this horrible force of severe retribution coming to your mind and as you're bracing for it you take your other blade you see its mouth opens up with frustration and anger as its tentacles kinda curl back and just go in for the grab you place the blade squarely into that maw you feel the scraping of its teeth across your knuckles but it doesn't matter because whatever anger and light was once in its face goes dark and dull all cheer as immediately it crumples to the ground lifeless pull the blade from the maw mind flayer down all cheer yeah Vax! He was next but not anymore as it falls to the ground all the rest of the duergar immediately have a reaction we'll get to their turn in a second Vex you're up so you're on the roof up here right now. Gotta get inside first. We have to run down in? Run down you're on a wooden roof surface you heard before there's an entrance here and an entrance there. Windows are swing-down-in-able. Unless Grog can just tear through the roof. What was your initiative? It's wood. You can hold initiative. I guess I'll hold I'll hold to see what the hell's happening. So you hold on that. It is now this dude's turn the general he unaffected by this it seems just angrily leaps onto the table runs across groans and jumps down towards you as he does you see his physical form seems to enlarge his actual small dwarvish form begins to swell his muscles tense he's about the size of a normal person if not a little bigger right now he comes at you with this giant black jagged metal war hammer groans comes down to swing at you as he comes down you see it burst into flame there's fire now surrounding the head of this war hammer as it arcs toward you. What? That is going to be a 24 to hit. Oh it hits but I use Uncanny Dodge to try to swoop out of the way as best I can. All righty you suffer that would be 12 plus six fire damage so 18 reduced to nine you take nine damage from the

Output: The party infiltrated the war camp by landing on the main building's roof. Vax, no longer invisible, successfully assassinated a mind flayer with his flame tongue dagger and keen blade. The remaining duergar reacted to their leader's fall, and the duergar general, swelling with strength and wielding a flaming war hammer, immediately attacked Vax. Vax used Uncanny Dodge to mitigate some of the damage from the general's fiery strike. In the confusion, Vex held their initiative to assess the situation before acting.


Input: comes at you with this like giant black jagged metal war hammer uh and he comes down to swing at you and as he comes down you see it burst into flame there's fire now surrounding the head of this war hammer as it arcs toward you what that is going to be a twenty four to hit oh it hits but I use uncanny dodge to try to swoop out of the way as best I can all righty you suffer that would be uh twelve plus six fire damage so eighteen reduced to nine you take nine damage from the strike as it strikes down it goes for a back swing to attack you a second time that is going to be a fifteen versus AC this time you just dodge completely out of the way derge out of the way derge er mah gerd I derged Percy you're up just in case I'm gonna push off and wait for grog so I'm holding my turn okay grog your turn right so we're on the roof of the thing right correct you are I'm in a rage I take the pot still on my head and I pick up my ax and I draw one gigantic smash through the roof of the building go ahead and make a strength check god yes this is all you're good for yes come on grog this is all you're good for fifteen fifteen yeah all right come on fifteen you bring your ax up you bring it down on top as hard as you can go ahead and roll ax damage is that a d twelve it's a d twelve plus your strength modifier plus two 'cause you're raging do I get advantage on that no seven plus two 'cause you're raging nine nine damage okay as you swing the ax down slam it hits the wood with the sheer weight of you there and most of you guys conglomerated at that point the actual roof breaks open and splits into a small space you slide down in the process I jump on to grog's foot all right go ahead both of you make an acrobatics check oh I wouldn't have had to do it all right well I'm in the building twenty one acrobatics check yeah pike you have disadvantage 'cause you're in plate armor six all right so grog you manage to land on your feet pike you actually plummet off and fall off to the side right there you are currently prone and from the fall which you guys both dropped down you managed to reduce the damage but you from the fall you take eight points of fall damage you are now flat on your back the wind knocked out of you for a minute pike I'm okay I'm okay oh okay thank God all right that brings us now vex and percy are the same you first or should I go first let's go down at the same time we'll go we both jump down at the same time both jump down go ahead and make your acrobatics checks guys twenty oh I rolled really bad what did you roll I rolled a two but I add it to my acrobatics yes which is which you don't know which is like I bet your acrobatics as you're proficient in it and you have plus five dex so that would bring it to eleven yes or no twelve yes did you bring any wheaton power from the other room you just barely land on your feet you do take fall damage but you don't fall prone you take eight points of fall damage percy you manage to land fine without any damage on your feet on the ground both of you kind of three point landing avengers style do I have time to get a shot off you do that was your movement so what's the deal wow I'm taking a second and I see that vax is getting attacked and I'm gonna just take a shot at the the guy with the hammer the biggest thing I see do you have your glasses or goggles on yeah that's right I have a helmet so yeah I'm wearing the helmet I'm cool with that so go for it do it starlord ah a natural twenty against the general

Output: The party was ambushed on a rooftop by a general wielding a flaming black war hammer, who struck Vax for significant fire damage before Vax used his uncanny dodge to halve the blow. In response, Grog entered a rage and smashed through the roof with his axe, creating an opening for the group to descend. While Grog and Pike dropped into the building—with Pike taking a hard fall—Vax and Percy followed, with Percy landing cleanly. Taking advantage of the chaos, Percy then lined up a shot and scored a critical hit against the general.


Input: so do I have time to get a shot off uh you do that was your movement so what's the deal wow I'm taking a second and I see that Vax is getting attacked and I'm gonna just take a shot at the uh the guy with the hammer the biggest thing I see do you have your glasses or goggles on yeah that's right I have a helmet so yeah I'm wearing the helmet I'm cool with that so go for it do it Starlord ah a natural twenty oh my god against the general or one of the duargar the general the guy on the table attacking me yeah you can just barely see him the stairway is up there doesn't matter as long as I have uh partial cover it don't matter right I know and he does have he has three quarters cover because of the distance but you natural twenty'd so it doesn't matter I can ignore it I ignore three quarters cover you do because I'm awesome yep so that's double one d I should have gotten some bonuses on that I'm an idiot plus five it's just double dice damage double dice damage then add your modifier woo that's nineteen points of damage to the general nice nice and he gets shot in the back of the shoulder plate you hear it ricochet and a little bit of blood begins to streak off the back of his head he looks over his shoulder with an angry grunt you can see now this dwarf who's still swelling in size it looks uh an angry nostril flare you have your bow ready I wanna do lightning arrow on the guy attacking my brother that guy there yeah okay go ahead and roll to attack ugh I don't think I hit what'd you roll I had rolled a four a four you had a plus eleven to hit it's going to be a fifteen unfortunately you miss the arrow streaks past yeah the arrow just ended up striking the wall back here and arcs lightning throughout the wall unfortunately does not I hunter's mark him anyway just for future stuff you used your that was a bon you used your bonus action to cast lightning arrow oh so I get a regular attack now well that was part of your regular attack like your next arrow you fired I get it you're going off book this is cool I think let me double check real fast just to be sure because I don't wanna screw you out of a cool turn that is mine next time bring your sheet I'm sorry that's okay yeah that's a bonus action to cast lightning into your next arrow you fire however you do have two attacks so you can shoot a second time it just isn't affected by lightning arrow I roll fourteen that does hit go ahead and roll damage there's one d ten plus I think it was one d eight actually oh for the longbow okay one d eight plus five for your dex and then plus two for the bow plus seven ten ten damage all right so first arrow just streaks off hits the wall as he's kind of staring at Percy he looks towards you and as he does the second arrow sticks into the plate he kinda looks at it uh just snaps it off in the armor grabbing his two handed sword or sorry the war hammer in the other hand minis it's confusing all right that ends your turn Grog the light that is beaming from your helmet currently right now is filling up the room and it is extremely bright most of you guys can handle it you see all the duargar at the table like uh a bunch of duargar come running in as well as they run in they're having to shield their eyes but it's actually physically hurting them to be in that room right now they're like uh keeping it at bay this one attempts to run in this one's kind of making its way over these guys here this one's gonna go ahead and run here this one's gonna go ahead and come to Grog these two are gonna come up behind is that guy the general that guy's the general yes this one's gonna come up behind to you all right they have disadvantage on their attacks nice because of the light cause I'm so bright attack against

Output: Percy took a critical shot at the duargar general, hitting him in the shoulder despite his cover and dealing significant damage. Vex then attempted a lightning arrow at the same target but missed, though her follow-up arrow struck true. Meanwhile, Grog's brightly shining helmet filled the room, causing pain and disadvantage to the incoming duargar reinforcements. The general, now visibly angry, snapped off the arrow embedded in his armor and continued his assault.


Input: so we're in that room right now and they're like groans keeping it at bay uh this one attempts to run in and this one's kind of making its way over and these guys here this one's gonna go ahead and run here and this one's gonna come to grog and these two are gonna come up behind is that guy the general uh that guy's the general yeah and this one's gonna come up behind to you all right they have disadvantage on their attacks nice because of the light all cheer cause I'm so bright attack against you you're the brightest tool in the shed today that is a seventeen versus AC you just dodge out of the way next one its war pick against you grog get skinny get skinny uh that is twenty versus AC that hits okay that hits alright you take eight points of damage as it slams you with its war pick in the chest you can feel it kinda gets about half an inch of depth into it but you just kinda shrug it off and flex your muscles and it pops it out of your torso that's cute the two against you that'll be a nineteen versus AC oh yeah that hits for sure and a seventeen versus AC that uh hits alright so you take two hits that's eleven damage and thirteen damage as both of them start whaling you from behind with war picks vaxahlia I yell thirteen and what alright next up is the one that's attacking you scanlan scanlan that's going to be at a disadvantage a fifteen versus armor class fourteen fourteen that still strikes you you take eight points of damage from the war pick slamming you over the shoulder ah I'm so awesome pike that ends their go tiberius you're up I'm still on the roof right you're still on the roof yeah what can I see like if I go down what can I see you look through the hole and you can see pretty much the entire battlefield you're just up here looking down through it oh wonderful you're currently the only one still up there yes I think I'll stay right here thank you very much and how tall is the roof how high is it fifteen feet it's about twenty five feet up okay wonderful wonderful so let me see here this is fun you are technically because I can do it gonna use one of the little lifties aren't you I am finally bring the fire tiberus oh toys now he's getting out toys aw yeah come on do something I'm waiting for him to do something cause it's so cool I got him this for christmas two years ago and he's finally using it you are up here right now awesome three dimensional fighting toys toys is that visible yeah sweet d and d rave okay I'm going to I see the two guards behind vex right is that what's going on yep right there and then one duergar in front of grog is that what's going on too yep right there great I will cast grand columns under all three of those dudes and pin em right up against the roof with my columns clever girl the pillars yes but those pillars only go fifteen feet up no they go up to twenty five twenty five oh nice yeah okay that's why I always ask that question it does sixty six bludgeoning damage when it's pinned bye bye if they don't make their save all right so go ahead and what is your dc on that your spell dc seventeen seventeen alright alright the heartiness of the duergar resilience gives them advantage on saves against spells they all make their saves what but they are still up on these platforms now raised above so what is does it do any damage if they make their saves come on iphone come on iphone you're supposed to know everything iphone five this is the fifth edition why doesn't it say I guess it doesn't it doesn't say so they are currently what is this madness oh you're crazy oh wait a minute no you make this call if a pillar is prevented from reaching its full height because

Output: The party found themselves in a room under attack by duergar, including their general, who swarmed them with war picks. Using a bright light for advantage, the party endured several hits, with Grog and Vax taking significant damage. From the roof, Tiberius strategically cast *Grasping Pillars*, attempting to pin two duergar guards and one in front of Grog against the ceiling. The duergar's innate resilience granted them advantage on the saving throw, and all three succeeded, avoiding the full damage but now being elevated on the stone platforms. The party discovered the spell's effect was ambiguous if prevented from full height, leaving the tactical situation in flux.


Input: so they make their saves what but theyre still up on these platforms now raised above so what is does it do any damage if they make their saves uh reading come on iphone come on iphone youre supposed to know everything iphone five this is the fifth edition why doesnt it say i guess it doesnt it doesnt say so they are currently what is this madness oh youre crazy oh wait a minute no you make this call if a pillar is prevented from reaching its full height because of a ceiling or other obstacle a creature on the pillar takes uh sixty six bludgeoning damage and is restrained pinched between the pillar and obstacle the restrained creature can use an action to make a strength or dexterity check against the spell save dc on a success they are no longer restrained and must either move off the pole or fall off of it so they still it still happens but theyre not pinned by it got you okay so go ahead and roll damage for all of them woo good to know new spells that just got released theres magic in the dwarves magic in them the duergar a whole new spell a fantastic way to die no one can tell us no twenty seven damage except for matt all laugh all three of the duergar are crushed to death against the ceiling i did twenty seven damage to each one nice splat splat splat theyre all slammed into the ceiling you can see limp dwarf arms and legs now dangling out of the stone pillars that are now permanently embedding them into the ceiling yeah son crazy room i go like this hah i use two of my sorcerer coins and i cast quicken spell and i look at the general and i because of my books ive been tampering with i cast blight on his eyes okay cause i wanna all laugh whats the the dc is seventeen you said yes all right natural twenty so he makes his save all groan he takes eight d eight damage and if he saves he takes half the damage okay ten fifteen they were all eights right well he does all of them and then divides but you said half he rolls all of them and then divides i see fifteen plus what is that ten fourteen your first one was twenty nine so well say a solid fourteen points of damage all right gotcha no other effect just the damage from blight right yeah because he made his save all right scanlan youre up oh okay im going to god theres so few people to kill now all laugh you did it all is it just us and the general wait that guy behind you though just you guys the general theres a guy right behind you those guys got slammed okay im gonna cast dominate person on the general laughs what does that do oh shit no hes a power top with advantage he rolled a one and a two on the saving throw all cheer thats ridiculous okay im going to dominate him and inform him i can give him a command right yes you can make him do whatever im going to tell him to stand down and tell all of his allies to stand down all right he turns around gives you a look a strange look he goes men all of you drop your weapons now we are surrendering to our new infiltrators he throws his war hammer to the ground the rest of them all kind of look around go ahead and im gonna have you make intimidation check on his behalf okay on his behalf yes do i add mine no im just considering that so you rolled eleven eleven the three other dwerger look confused look at the dead mind flayer look at their general telling them to surrender and they all kinda throw their weapons to the ground and stand there with their arms to the side kinda waiting for whats gonna happen next as you finish that clarota slowly drifts down oh yeah clarota thanks for all the fucking help all laugh oh no this is gonna be bad clarota just kinda looks around says you hear this voice in your mind

Output: The party survived the rising stone pillars, which crushed three duergar against the ceiling. A sorcerer then cast *Blight* on the duergar general, who made his save and took only partial damage. Scanlan followed up by successfully casting *Dominate Person* on the general, compelling him to order his remaining allies to surrender. As the remaining duergar dropped their weapons, the mind flayer Clarota drifted down and addressed the party telepathically.


Input: you rolled 11 uh 11. uh sings along with the music. the three other dew-gar look confused look at the dead mine-flayer look at their general telling them to surrender and they all kinda throw their weapons to the ground and stand there with their arms to the side kinda waiting for what's gonna happen next. as you finish that Clarota slowly drifts down. oh yeah Clarota thanks for all the fucking help. all laugh oh no this is gonna be bad. Clarota just kinda looks around says you hear this voice in your mind go I had my doubts but well done. thank you. so that ends that turn. Scanlan do you want to move at all or you gonna stay where you are? I'm gonna stay where well I'm gonna move just a couple feet away from the guy right behind me and I'm going to as my bonus action might as well give Grog some dice. And also just tell everyone remember let's not kill the general we need him for information. probably if anyone tries to hit him he'll snap out of it so that's it. I also take a little poo in my pants. small kilo. this is still a battle? even though no combatants? I mean if you guys are deciding not to fight anymore what's your plan? I come on down and I say good work guys that was cool that was great. he's under my spell. perhaps we should tie him up. that's what I was gonna say I cast Grasping Vine and I just take a vine and I tie his hands behind his back and kinda grapple him. so that'll break the spell. well no I'm not damaging him I'm just hugging him. yeah hugging him with vines. vine hugs. as this is happening you guys feel a familiar tremble. oh no be quiet in the ground. DM is out of his mind. everyone make a stealth check. all laugh damn it. oh that's a 20 that is a 20. this is the second time I rolled a one on my stealth check. wow. I'm not stealthy today. 17. 18. 19. 14. 23. pretty good overall. two. 22. all right there is the rumble gets louder and louder and you can see the duergar looking around nervously. the rumbling kinda fades for a second and with a cacophonous cracking sound the stone floor beneath you splits open. no right here groans. Percy make an acrobatics check and try to avoid whatever is coming through. whatever? it's a dragon! 18. it's a worm. all right you manage to just pull out of the way as a large what the fuck is that? what is that? a large armored four-legged creature comes bursting out of the ground around you. oh great it's a rock butthole. all laugh lets out this horrible screeching growl has this kinda hungry look in its eyes. can I reactionary real quick take my Grasping Vine and just lift him and kinda put him in the corner to keep the general safe? unfortunately no. is he rooted? he is currently is considered grappled. I have a question. I was just trying to keep him safe. can we take a potty break before? a potty break? no breaks tonight! no breaks no breaks. we're pushing through you need a bottle. exercise your kegels. if you really need to go you can when it's not your turn. no I'm fine. just pee on Ashley it's okay. suck it up man. as this entity comes burrowing up from underneath the ground it immediately makes a strike against guys this is so exciting and Laura has no idea what's going on. no clue good times. this is gonna be a bite attack against you Percy. That is all right 24 versus armor class. shit bite is at 24. yeah that that hits. as you reactively attempt to move out of the way this creature comes tearing out of the ground gets its bearings rears back and this giant toothy maw comes clamping down onto your entire torso. you suffer 36 points of piercing damage. oh! the fuck? 36? 36 points of piercing damage. that's gonna end its turn. shit.

Output: After the party's performance and Clarota's intervention, the remaining duergar surrendered. The group decided to spare the general for interrogation, with Scanlan binding him with a Grasping Vine. Their moment of victory was interrupted by a tremor, and a large, armored burrowing creature erupted from the ground. It immediately attacked Percy, biting him for significant damage as the party scrambled to react.


Input: no clue good times this is gonna be a bight attack against you percy that is all right uh 24 versus armor class shit bight is at 24 yeah that that hits as you reactively attempt to move out of the way this creature comes tearing out of the ground gets its bearings rears back and this giant toothy maw comes clamping down onto your entire torso you suffer 36 points of piercing damage oh the fuck 36 36 points of piercing damage that's going to end its turn shit pike you're up okay well that hurt i'm still prone um you are prone you can use your movement to get back up okay i use my movement to get back up do i also get an attack for doing that you still have your action and your bonus action it's just your move okay i will use guiding bolt and i'm gonna shoot that thing all right go ahead and roll for the attack that's my girlfriend come on pike does this guy appear to be messed up by the daylight at all okay do i add anything you add your spell attack modifier it's on your spell sheet so the top of your spell sheet sorry guys oh sweet okay so that would be 25 that definitely hits so guiding bolt what does that do so i roll where'd it go i roll 4d6 i roll 4d6 4d6 go ahead and do that yes 16 16 all right so you reach back clutching your holy symbol you get back off the ground release your hand as this suddenly flaring blast of divine energy comes cascading out of the front of your palm blasting into the side of the face nearly searing one of the eyes of the creature it rears back brings one leg up instinctually slams the ground in the process how you doing that's disadvantage to your next attack aw wait what are you at i'm at 38 it lands puts its foot back on the ground and kinda gears its attention towards you it's angling around the room for what should be its next meal anything else you wanna do can i give him a healing potion can i heal him he's too far away you could use your bonus action if you wanna use healing word okay i'll use healing word okay so go ahead and roll that for him while you're doing that brings us so clarota now gets its action yeah clarota clarota now looks wide-eyed seeing this happen you hear a slight voice in the back of your head go this is complicating as it rears back you hear the slight echoing screeching sound that just manages to skirt the outside of your mental capacity you feel like if you were any closer or if it was directed towards you it would be a horrible ringing pain in your head you're just peripheral to it it makes its attack unfortunately the exterior the boulet and or its mind shielding is too strong it seems to have no effect on the creature damn it clarota worthless a boulet is the entity that ends its turn top of the round vax okay i think where's the laser here it is it looks like i have just enough squares to go one two three who's this right here that's a duergar weapon on the ground not armed right now can i get to here on a turn i can't tell what's your movement it's 30 feet i'll use my bonus action to click my haste boots together okay then you can definitely do that okay and since percy is right up against it i'm able to deal sneak attack damage because there's another one of its foes exactly yes you don't get an advantage on the attack but if you attack you do it so i'm gonna try to strike him in his underbelly all right even the underbelly itself is heavily armored you have to kind of gauge quickly where the plate is 20 20 20 hits go ahead and roll with your sneak attack damage so 20 hits oh and it was never mind so three there we go 22 22 damage all righty got it cool that brings us to the general is going to attempt to make a saving throw shit he can do that every time he gets a turn round

Output: The party was ambushed by a boulet that erupted from the ground, dealing a devastating blow to Percy. Pike recovered and struck back with a guiding bolt, while also using healing word to aid an ally. Their ally, Clarota, attempted a mental attack on the creature but found its mind shielded, discovering it was resistant to such effects. Vax then used his haste boots to flank the creature and landed a solid sneak attack. The round ended with the enemy general beginning another saving throw, indicating the fight's ongoing intensity.


Input: I'm gonna try to strike him in his under-belly... uh... even the... the underbelly itself is heavily armored you have to kind of gauge quickly where the plate is... twenty... twenty? uh twenty hits... go ahead and roll with your sneak attack damage... so twenty hits? oh and it was... never mind... so three... there we go twenty two... twenty two damage? alrighty got it... cool that brings us to... the general is going to attempt to make a saving throw... shit he can do that? every time he gets a turn round he gets a chance to break out of the... and he does... oh he broke out? (gasps) shrugs off the mental influence of the dominate spell... however he is not currently armed... he uses his movement or action to pick up the war hammer... fury and anger is in his eyes... he's still grappled... no no he just broke out right? oh from the grapple too? yeah he used his whole turn to break out of the grapple and grab its weapon that's all he can do... where is he? right there... to fight the boo-let? or to... you have no idea... oh we don't know oh he could just be reacting to the bulette... the flames on the hammer are out too but it picks up the war hammer it's cold black steel currently... we got our Davy Jones in the room he'll take care of the dwarves... that brings us to... grog... kitty... I would like to go into a frenzied rage and charge at Clifford the big red dog... (all laugh) you leap off the higher platform come rushing out with your ax in the air as you come down using the full weight of your body behind the attack go ahead and roll your three attacks... alright I have nine eight seventeen... you have one dice from me I've inspired you... oh... grog grog... is it a twenty or is it a what... you get to add a d eight to an attack roll... if you have a shitty attack roll add a d eight to it if you have a shitty roll... seventeen... grog smash right through his plate thingy... barely hits... nineteen... hits all three attacks hit... yeah that one hits sixteen plus eight... so all three attacks hit roll damage for three hits... as you come now just slamming your grey ax into the side of this armored beast just over and over again... cleaving this nice little wide section of its armor on the side... take his fucking head off... fourteen... twenty one... twenty one again... what... twenty two... oh so twenty two twenty one and fourteen... whoa I was doing his math... (all laugh) twenty one twenty two and fourteen you said... fifty seven... fifty seven... I don't wanna do math and show you all up... that's a level nine barbarian... so slam him you see a portion of its side armor splits you can see a little bit of that dark red fleshy interior... you do a significant amount of damage and leave a nice little weak point in its armor... however it still doesn't seem to be entirely phased by the damage it just kinda shrugs at the damage and kinda glares at you for a second... one of its eyes that was focused on percy and keyleth now looks over at you Jurassic-Park style with the t-rex up at the side of the vehicle... vex?... I back up a little bit... yeah like that... and I'm gonna cast Hail of Thorns on him... okay... sounds nasty... right? I'm gonna shoot like a regular attack... so your bonus action to cast Hail of Thorns and then you attack with the arrow go for it... yes... you're adding eleven to it... okay good then that'd be eighteen... eighteen? eighteen hits... yes so I was casting that as a level three spell... I roll three d... that means I roll three d ten... against the creature? against fourteen which is my spell level thingy... three d ten... yeah one d ten for damage... yep go for it... that is an eight-sided dice yay... there you go... an eight... that'd be twenty five... I get another attack so I'm gonna do that... natural twenty... (all cheer) nice alright go ahead and roll damage double the dice and add your modifier of seven... that arrow just went slow mo... double the dice...

Output: The party engaged in a fierce battle against the armored bulette and the now-freed general. A rogue landed a precise sneak attack on the beast, while the general used his turn to break free from magical influence, retrieve his warhammer, and re-enter the fight. The barbarian, Grog, entered a frenzied rage and charged the bulette, cleaving a visible weak point in its side armor with a devastating series of blows. Finally, the ranger Vex cast *Hail of Thorns* and followed up with a perfectly aimed arrow, scoring a critical hit as the creature focused its attention on the party.


Input: casting that as a level three spell uh I roll three d ten that means I roll 3d10 against the creature against 14 which is my spell level thingy um 3d10 yeah 1d10 for damage yep go for it that is an eight sided dice yay there you go an eight that'd be 25 I get another attack so I'm gonna do that natural 20 all cheer nice alright go ahead and roll damage double the dice and add your modifier of seven that arrow just went slow mo double the dice 15 15 alright so what happens here is you pull an arrow out as you whisper a couple of words under your breath you see all these thorny pines beginning to shoot out the shaft of the arrow you release it and as it strikes in the front of its face the arrow actually splinters sending a bunch of these thorns all over its torso piercing an inch or two into its armor with each blast of these thorns it kinda rears back and tries to shake itself off as it does you get a little bit of a look as Grog backs away from it checking to see the wound he left you take your secondary arrow aim for the red soft spot boom slips right past the armor plating doing the extra damage on the interior of its physical self awesome that's your turn I believe good turn Percy you're up okay is my hand still stuck in its mouth all laugh I would like it to be if you'd like to yeah you could have left it there do I have an advantage to hit if my gun is in its mouth all laugh you are considered grappled if you leave your hand there you can remain grappled for advantage on the attack roll done so I get to roll twice you do this is a whole new meaning to point blank 19 19 that'll hit okay I spent some grit on this and did some interesting modifiers how much grit did you spend two points of grit okay this is the uh the deadshot and I also took a negative five hit for a plus ten damage to this shot and I'm using my fire modifier I'm just being an asshole all laugh that's amazing that's 16 and 20 35 points of fire damage inside of its mouth so your hand inside you pull back and fire knowing which barrel is next you hear this dull muffled explosion sound and its eyes kinda pulse for a second in intense fury and pain smoke just billows out the sides of its mouth and its nostrils and it begins to kind of shake its head lifting you about a foot off the ground painfully but you think it's worth the deal well done thank you aw man I will say that ends your turn thank you Gary Gygax wherever you are all laugh alright the duergar currently seeing the situation and the change of tone go and grab their weapons change of tone shit got real this duergar is going to move up back to you Scanlan as it sees that you were the one that took over the general dicks bring it dicks this one comes rushing in aw come on freaking tank in the room there's a bigger problem bro opportunists man it rushes after you actually why can't we be friends why can't we be friends alright the attack against you Scanlan that is gonna be a 17 versus AC alright this one is actually also physically growing in size as it comes towards you it's getting hard you suffer 16 points of damage such a bummer as the war pike comes slamming into your side you see it's coming but you're just not fast enough it hits you on impact it may have cracked a rib you're not sure the one that's coming up against you rolls that's going to be a 17 versus armor class fuck you you see it and just duck out of the way its war pike slams into the stone wall next to you with a horrible screeching stone sound high AC rogue yo alright that ends their turn Tiberius you're up I'm looking in I'm like oh that's no good I look at where he made the crack in the armor where is that is that

Output: The party engaged a formidable armored creature in close combat, with the ranger landing a devastating thorny arrow that exploited a weak spot in its armor. Percy then risked leaving his hand grappled in the creature's mouth to deliver a powerful, point-blank gunshot, dealing significant internal fire damage. In response, the duergar combatants shifted their focus, with one growing in size and attacking Scanlan, landing a solid blow. The party continued to strategize, with Tiberius observing the battle and noting the crack in the creature's armor as a potential vulnerability.


Input: so it hits you on impact and like you think it maybe cracked a rib but you're not sure and the one that's coming up against you rolls and that's going to be a 17 versus armor class uh fuck you and you see it and just duck out of the way its war pick slams into the stone wall next to you with this horrible screeching stone sound high ac rogue yo all right that ends their turn tiberius you're up and i'm looking in i'm like oh that's no good i look at where he made the crack in the armor where is that is that in the head and he's like it's in the head area right over here right awesome i'm going to kind of motion towards the mind flayer and give a telepathic wink yeah it's on the ground yeah are you flirting with it you make a telepathic wink and i'm going to cast telekinesis and i'm gonna pry open the metal i'm not going to target the creature i'm going to target the armor nice interesting thought okay see if it uh the 17 is the dc yes this could be cool all right it fails so here's what happens for the effect of this it suffers i'm gonna say it suffers about uh 2d6 points of damage from the tearing so go ahead and roll that six damage so six damage however you have effectively reduced its armor class by five yes in doing so ooh and i'm going to spend two more sorcery points and do the spell again i'm going to do a i'm gonna do firebolt right in the hole and i'm going to use my metamagic wand to fire the spell fire in the hole all right go for it he has so many dice it's crazy oh that hits actually does that crit does your 19 crit no usually 20 is only crit except for i think he has a bonus ability critical role by the way name of the show and all laugh it's okay you're good and you're a fighter which means eventually you'll end up with four attacks per round anyway so you're fine can't do that i'm looking forward to it damage what you got scanlan you're on deck by the way i'm ready i zap him i zap him for one okay and all laugh no no no no i empowered it full it takes ten damage because i empowered the spell that's correct so as you pull down with the ray it streaks down across the ceiling portion of the building right into the fleshy exposed part of its armor now it looks like it has this giant jagged scar in the side of its head where you can see muscle and sinew pulsing with each of its movements you blast into it you can see this darkened black portion of its interior flesh it's now charred slight embers beginning to percolate and burn on the outskirts of the impact well done you gonna stay where you are yes scanlan what you got okay i'm going i know he'll get a hit on me but i'm gonna run away from the guy behind me run straight at the general and just open out my arms in an outstretched big hug and i'm like come here big guy come here and i give him a big hug and upon touching him i cast banishment on him and send him to another dimension nice all right and all laugh as you move away the duergar is going to attempt to make as a reaction to make an attack on you it's okay it's all cool for pike that's going to be a 13 versus armor class does not hit you hear it coming as you're walking buddy and all laugh duck under a war pick with advantage on its saving throw what's the dc dc the dc on your spell well if i'm doing it through my cone it's 19 i will say for this you do not have it through your cone because you had your arms open you didn't specify however it still fails its saving throw the general as you reach up he has his war pick ready pulls back its war pick as the flames burst in and all laugh then blinks out of existence and all cheer nice move one down one down oh he's gone oh where did he go i don't know how long does it last by the

Output: The party engaged a mind flayer and duergar in close combat. Tiberius used telekinesis to pry open the mind flayer's damaged headplate, reducing its armor class and exposing vulnerable flesh, which he then struck with an empowered firebolt. Meanwhile, Scanlan boldly charged the duergar general, casting banishment upon contact and removing him from the battlefield entirely. The party successfully discovered a critical weakness in the mind flayer's armor and eliminated one of their two formidable opponents.


Input: well uh if im doing it through my cone its like 19 i will say for this you do not have it through your cone because you had your arms open you didn't specify however it still fails its saving throw the general as you reach up he has his warpick ready pulls back its warpick as the flames burst in then blinks out of existence nice move one down one down oh he's gone oh where did he go i don't know how long does it last by the way its concentration okay all right scanlan shorthalt playing vegas ladies and gentlemen do i get a bonus you do get a bonus action okay im just going to sing a little ditty to pike just to give her a little inspiration ill just do some pelvic thrusting uh a little thats a flute by the way super play that thing his electric flute gives you a d8 inspiration dice so you can add that to any attack rolls he can do anything with any instrument sweet licks on your flute all right so keyleth so upon seeing this big thing crash in and im like oh now youre really angry but i just kind of analyze him and i say okay and then i go grunts and i turn into a rhino cerus ooh okay i dont have a rhino cerus mini on me so well use a bear for the time being but well know its a rhino cerus why dont you have a rhino cerus cause i was not prepared for such things way to slack off mercer hey im gonna order a rhino cerus now you happy im gonna go to toys r us get the whole animal collection actually got them the whole set so you transform into a rhino cerus now basically facing an armored beast with an armored beast kaiju battle whatcha got whatcha doing im charging him activity in the breach you leap down go in for the attack this dwer gar already used its reaction so it cant attack you so if he fails to save i knock him over thats plus seven so 19 19 does hit awesome does save though is not knocked over a strength save yeah aw damn it this is a big creature he does i do 2d8 of bludgeoning damage go for it seven nine 14 damage 14 damage all right you have multi attack or did you get the one hit well i charged yeah okay yeah so the charge is the hit but you slam into it your horn gores you can see actually you slam it into the side of the armor wound that grog left and then tiberius pried open part of it gets pulled back and you see a quick splatter of some sort of bloody splash as youre staring to actually pull apart its interior the horn is jabbed in there and it manages to shrug it off at the last point you do significant gore to its side good musical riff oh wait no no no thats right keep going its actually 15 damage i always forget that i have a plus one to attack 15 yeah dont forget that you need to remember that after taking the arrow wound and after everyone else attacking around its going to try and get a different situation its going to jump it rears back and leaps into the air oh jesus landing right on top of clarota and scanlan oh no wait does he get do we get you guys all get attacks on it as it jumps away we all get attacks yes you do do i no you do not we get advantage right no did he take me no he didn't take me no actually you are still in its hand in its mouth it carries you with it 19 okay so 19 you hit 24 hit 26 hit no its the three of you so thats it so all of you guys just roll damage for a basic attack come on kill him before he gets to me 24 24 damage 24 damage you said nice yeah was i close enough to him to get an attack no you werent unfortunately 11 11 all righty

Output: The party pressed their assault against the duergar general, with Scanlan providing inspirational support through a musical riff. Keyleth transformed into a rhinoceros and charged, goring the creature's already-damaged armor and drawing blood. In response, the wounded beast leapt into the air, carrying the captured Clarota with it and landing atop Scanlan. The rest of the party seized the opportunity to strike as it moved, landing several blows before the creature could act again. The general's desperate move created a new, immediate threat to two party members.


Input: take me no actually you are still in its hand in its mouth it carries you with it uh 19 okay so 19 you hit 24 hit 26 hit no it's the three of you so that's it so all of you guys just roll damage for a basic attack come on kill him before he gets to me 24 24 damage 24 damage you said nice yeah was I close enough to him to get an attack no you weren't unfortunately 11 11 all righty and 17 yeah so as it lands all of you guys have to make a strength or dex saving throw your choice for percy dex and scanlan and I'm rolling for clarota clarota fails it's okay it's okay scanlan it's okay you can do this what'd you roll 20 he's coming back from the other dimension I rolled a nine did it hit the floor or did you go again no I used the one that rolled on the floor roll it on the table that doesn't count so clarota is not prone dungeon master does a roll on the floor count what happened I usually roll on the table I usually prefer to roll on the table it's even worse uh everyone laughs that'll learn ya you guys are knocked prone on the ground and you all take 14 points of bludging damage plus 14 points of slasing damage as he just lands on top of you yeah so 28 points of damage as it crushes you and its claws sink into you clarota takes the same did it drag percy through the air yes it did it did my arms are still stuck in its mouth you're not knocked prone but you do take 14 points of crushing damage as its mouth bites down on your arm again for free that's fine it's going to actually release you percy so you're there think your arm might be a bit busted it turns and makes a bite attack against scanlan as he does I distract him air horn blowing everyone laughs playing my shawm that's the sound a shawm makes cutting words reaction okay so as your reaction go ahead and do that so roll the d8 six okay he rolled a 27 reduced it by seven to 19 so even with the reduction it's not enough you're on the ground it sinks its teeth right into you you take let's see these games keep getting better you take 41 points of peircing damage oh my gosh scanlan no worries I'm just at negative 36 now everyone laughs really yep okay so wait how did that happen that happened fast he's unconscious he's in bad shape but we're gonna get him scanlan's looking rough scanlan is now just being thrashed around in the mouth of the creature how many hit points do you have his limp arms and legs just thumping as it's kind of just running him around and across the air hashtag save scanlan strings of gnome blood are being flung across the room oh he's so little though he's so little pike your turn okay so time for a cure wounds so I guess let's see you can't even see him right now if you want to cure wounds you have to touch him I'll go yeah I'll go I'm being thrashed around can I just go he's over there he's in the mouth of the thing she's 25 speed so you can move five squares okay didn't you get that speed boost how close can I get to him I can't see the lines in the squares don't forget your boots pike oh I have sprinter's boots I have sprinter's boots okay so I'm gonna use my sprinter's boots I can while you wear these boots you can use a bonus action and click the boots heels together if you do the boots double your walking speed for one minute so you can move ten squares takes your bonus action so then I'm so sorry I can't see the squares so if I can get ten to get over there so you go one two three four five six seven eight there is a ledge

Output: The party launched a coordinated attack against the creature holding Percy, dealing significant damage. In retaliation, the creature landed and crushed the group, knocking most prone and dealing heavy bludgeoning and slashing damage. It then bit Scanlan, dealing massive piercing damage and rendering him unconscious. Pike, using her sprinter's boots, rushed toward the creature's mouth to attempt a healing spell on the fallen gnome.


Input: ``` uh your boots Pike oh I have like sprinters boots I have sprinters boots okay so um I'm gonna use my sprinters boots I can uh while you wear these boots you can use a bonus action and click the boots' heels together if you do the boots double your walking speed for one minute so uh you can move ten squares takes your bonus action so then um I'm so sorry I can't see the squares so if I can get ten to get over there so uh you go one two three four five six seven eight there is a ledge there and he's blocking the way up so nine ten make an acrobatics check to actually jump and climb up onto the oh no with disadvantage cause you have plate armor but what about her disadvantage you roll twice and take a lower wait wait hold on can I cast Guided Strike which adds ten to uh I gave you a dice I gave you a dice which means you're ten total of ten yeah that's exactly what you needed all cheer that was the baseline you run up it takes all the strength you can feel you're gonna be sore in the morning all your muscles tense as you pull yourself up with all the inertia from the run your parkour up to the top land Scanlan's there currently being flung around you manage to reach up and grab him and get in a brief tug of war with the bulette creature hey get away from him man as you cast Cure Wounds go ahead and so that's Mass Cure Wounds so does that heal is it Mass Cure Wounds or just doing Cure Wounds I'll just do Cure Wounds so at what level are you using don't chintz out I'm gonna use it at the highest I'll use it at fifth level cast whatever you can cast it's one or multiple people can you do it at a higher level yeah I'll do it at my highest level that I can cast which is let's not cheap out on Scanlan here sorry guys I'm just warming up again all laugh let's not skimp on Scanlan remember when I brought you back from the dead remember that remember that remember when my kiss healed you from death just throwing that out there which I think is eight so it's 5d8 plus 5 5d8 plus 5 is how much you're healing him you're gonna be all right my spell attack bonus plus eight you don't have to worry about the bonus you're just touching him so 5d8 plus 5 is what you're healing him yes all right that's three I think you did it four times yeah 18 plus five I thought that was three no yeah 23 23 plus five that was plus five are you still unconscious but now I'm only negative 11 wait what I've taken almost 100 points of damage in this you're unconscious how it works in this and this is different from Pathfinder yeah you go to zero and you stay there you are now up to 23 you don't go below zero you hit zero and you're there making rolls to see if you die you only have three chances if you roll fail three times you die and if something hits you while you're unconscious it's an automatic fail now you're 23 hit points hey I feel great guys all laugh you're still in its mouth being shook around oh shit all laugh what is this ride this is crazy Pike that's your turn I can't do anything else right Clarota's going to get up come on Clarota show us what you got Clarota looks pretty rough rears back got to bring that mental power and that arcane magic let's do it taking a cue from the opening you left Clarota pulls back its hand you see a familiar spark of bluish electrical energy as Clarota reaches for unleashing a torrent of electrical arcane energy forward into the form of a Lightning Bolt blasting across the bow of this giant creature let's see does not make its saving throw so it's 32 points of lightning damage Clarota as the back of its armor is now seared and you can see parts of its armored flesh are kind of blackened and charred and slightly crimping Vax you're up okay ```

Output: Pike used her sprinter's boots to dash across the battlefield, making a difficult acrobatics check with Guidance to reach an injured Scanlan. She then healed Scanlan with a powerful Cure Wounds spell, bringing him back to consciousness. The party's ally, Clarota, seized the opening and struck the bulette with a Lightning Bolt, searing its armored hide. The creature remains a threat, still holding Scanlan in its maw as the party continues their fight.


Input: Uh taking a cue from the opening you left Clarota pulls back its hand and you see a like familiar spark of bluish electrical energy as Clarota reaches for unleashing a torrent of electrical arcane energy forward into the form of a Lightning Bolt blasting across the bow of this giant creature let's see uh does not make its saving throw so it's 32 points of lightning damage Clarota as the back of its armor is now seared and you can see parts of its armored flesh are kind of blackened and charred and slightly crimping Vax you're up okay so I've got enough room to run up to its anus which I'll do um as you always do it's got plenty of people around so that means I can Sneak Attack him as you rush past before you attack this dewgar that was right by you that has currently grown to a larger size gets a free swing at you ain't no thing uh that's going to be a 21 to hit okay that hits all right with its war pike it takes deals 14 points of damage to you who cares I'm saving my gnome friend okay here I go 14 it's a 25 to hit his butt 25 hits this is my keen dagger with vortal blade two plus seven is nine that's just nine where's a pencil that's a pencil and then we add my Sneak Attack damage which is six seven ten 15 21 plus nine is 30 all right nice to the butt specifically to the butt as you rush up you take a moment as it's thrashing about and you can see what looks anatomy-wise to be probably where it expels whatever it eats the hole right in there you go ahead and just slash and eviscerate there how do you like me now even back there it's heavily armored it takes you carve through and it you've definitely left a lasting impression on this bulett pucker up baby pucker up hashtag armored anus all laugh what what in the butt this is D and D in 2015 people 2015 so that's the first attack right now I get a second attack the general also by the way appears as the concentration spell was lost as you were unconscious I must have stopped concentrating for some reason however it is right in front of it's like it's now in his face second attack 22 that hits okay and that's a four plus ten ten points of fire-based damage to the butt all right preparation H fire damage to the anus that brings us to his turn the generals the generals turn who now is there from the bulett sees it looks over and sees you it's right in front of him kind of sitting there with your bloody hand it's still flaming swings back and goes for your head god that is a 23 versus armor class ah yeah that's gonna hit armor class sucks plus the fire damage what are you at I'm at 39 I wanna say well you take 31 points of damage including the fire damage from the pike it goes for its second attack against you this thing sucks that's gonna be a 22 versus armor class that's gonna hit it's a tank one you take that's gonna be 21 points of damage I'm out okay Percy being pummeled and pummeled again loses your gun falls from your hand as you slump to the ground your eyes roll back unconsciousness and darkness we're droppin like flies taking you that brings us to everybody knows shit's fucked grog what me bah how tall is the thing tall I'd say it's probably about 20 feet tall 15 20 feet tall can I climb up on its back it's not your size it'd be really really tight pinning in there I would like to run up to its right side and flank it over here yeah so you run around which you can do cause you're a freaking barbarian uh all right go ahead you're making your attacks go for it three strikes against it 21 hits right 21 definitely hits 16 plus eight hits definitely hits natural 20 all cheer does that mean I get extra double damage it means double damage oh double damage okay so first strike kill it

Output: Clarota initiated the assault by striking the massive bulette with a Lightning Bolt, searing its armored hide. Vax then boldly charged in to attack the creature's vulnerable rear, landing a devastating Sneak Attack despite taking a hit from a nearby duergar. The bulette's general retaliated, brutally pummeling Percy into unconsciousness. Finally, Grog flanked the beast and, with a mighty critical strike, slew the bulette, ending the immediate threat.


Input: so in there i would like to run up to its right side and flick it uh over here yeah so you run around which you can do cause you're a freaking barbarian yeah all right go ahead you're making your attacks go for it three strikes against it twenty one hits right twenty one definitely hits sixteen plus eight hits definitely hits natural twenty oh does that mean i get extra double damage it means double damage oh double damage okay so first strike kill him kill him kill him sixteen sixteen damage yes twenty one twenty one thank you stay in school kids stay on the table it's the critical now so double the dice roll twenty thank you and fifteen plus that twenty you double the dice then add the modifier oh double the second one so that's forty on the last one jesus so sixty one seventy six how do you want to do this grog oh you killed him yes how you wanna do this grog i would like to chop down into the fleshy bit and after i've sliced the fleshy bit is on the opposite side by the way so you're now at an unarmored side however it's still holding scanlan in its mouth shaking him around so how do you wanna finish it can i get to its mouth at all i could say for the flavor of this yeah you manage to just barely make it over here i would like to swing through and catch the corner of its mouth open its mouth wide and then i'd like to reach in and with my teeth pull its fucking tunge out of its head and start thrashing it side to side first you rush up with your ax using all of the aggression you take it and swing it barely leaving you with a shave you gash the side of its mouth and draw this giant wound open as it does you actually snap and cut through the tendons that clench the jaw causing it to fall open and slack scanlan spills out of its mouth hitting the ground with a dull thud as its mouth is now open it kind of rears back you shake your head angrily as the froth is gathering at the corners of your mouth you drop your ax from one hand grab the jaw reach in bite down on its giant meaty tunge using your hand at the back of it you pull and yank and you feel the muscle tearing and tensing before eventually it comes free and is now dangling about twenty five thirty pounds of very very wet tunge meat with your third attack how do you finish it what do you after you're biting its tunge in your mouth that's what i'm asking that's a good point it's looking really rough but you still need to get that final death blow what are you doing with this grog rip him apart yeah i'm gonna king kong his jaw i'm gonna take the broken part the top of his head and just pull apart okay so you drop your ax entirely the tunge still dangling from your mouth you reach and put one foot up into the bottom of the jaw using your other hands you push and push you hear it crack and pull as it tenses and is trying to push down it has no tension because the jaw was destroyed you pull back and hear a sickening snap as the armor plate buckles underneath where the neck joint would be on such a creature its eyes kinda roll back for a second and it begins to slacken as it does you reach up with your fist and penetrate the bottom of where its brain would be with a sickening kind of sound it goes entirely limp and collapses on the ground and that's why you're on the team and as it falls the tunge that's hanging in my mouth i look to one of the dwarves that's left i go who's next we're gonna end it there for the night damn guys well done i'm sleeping oh percy's dead hashtag save percy i want more chicken before we finish i'd say go ahead and throw a heal up on him oh yeah thank you good plan it's nasty man you guys picked that by the way

Output: The barbarian Grog charged around the creature's flank and unleashed a brutal series of attacks, landing a critical hit that dealt massive damage. He then creatively dispatched the beast by ripping out its tongue with his teeth before tearing its jaw apart to deliver the final blow. In the process, he freed the captive Scanlan from its maw. After the battle, the party discussed healing the wounded Percy and expressed their exhaustion as they prepared to rest.


Input: you're on the team and everyone's cheering and as it falls the tongue that's hanging in my mouth I look to one of the doors that's left I go uh who's next and everyone's laughing we're gonna end it there for the night and everyone's groaning oh damn guys well done I'm sleeping oh uh Percy's dead hashtag save Percy I want more chicken before we finish I'd say go ahead and throw a heal up on him oh yeah thank you good plan it's nasty man you guys picked that by the way oh seriously they did you dicks you suck that was the chat room try harder next time we'll be doing more of those as time goes on not all the time but whenever I have the opportunity to put it in there I'm gonna start asking for you guys to help me figure out what to throw at these adventurers you sadists and everyone's laughing we shouldn't tell them the other options should we just in case we wanna save them oh no they'll come back in don't worry 25 oh wow I feel much better so you guys we're gonna be doing a Q and A yeah for anyone who wants to stay over anyone who wants to stick around the audience has a ton of questions for you guys for the audience it's a sub-only Q and A so if you've been wondering whether or not you should sub let me give you some reasons why number one you can ask these guys questions in a little bit number two every 50 subs we're giving away tabletop promo kits that are like 250 worth of special stuff and we will ship that internationally doesn't matter even in Antarctica we want someone in Antarctica to do tabletop day do you know anyone I don't we had someone last year well shit we gotta reach out then they're gone they were like the only people there and they're gone there's nobody there left they were the last bathroom well somebody needs to move to Antarctica in the next few days and let us know so then we can totally use that we also do a Minecraft server for subs only but if you want in on that there's no automated message for that server info so just make sure and message the Geek and Sundry account and we'll get you that sub IP address for the Minecraft server I know we have more there's lots more stuff we do some other sub-only chats throughout the week lots of emotes other fun stuff but we're gonna go ahead and roll some videos while we get set up for the Q and A this was a lot of fun oh I would like to challenge you guys to do a quick little donation drive for the charity that you guys support yeah for 826LA had it going up in the chat room if you have the opportunity you wanna help support these children getting side educations and tutoring you guys wanna tell them about just to get them psyched up for it cause we can get that command going yeah 826LA they're a non-profit organization that helps primarily with literacy and creative story children for children between the ages of like five and 18 they have a really great young authors book that you can buy that's a collection of all of the kids book and you can also go and check out the time travel mart there's one in Echo Park and then there's also one in Marina Del Rey but you should just google 826 cause I know there's one in Seattle I know there's one in like Atlanta New York San Francisco there might be an 826 in your city 826LA probably right 826LA is who we're raising money for but yeah all of the 826 store fronts are a little bit different depending on where you go they're super cool guys please check it out it's awesome it's a good group of people what they do is fantastic if you have the opportunity please do go ahead and donate to the charity well thank you guys so much for tuning in for the fourth episode of Critical Role with the grand return of Pike our cleric and everyone's laughing necessary glad to have you back I'm sure everyone here is glad to have the healer back especially today very happy today and a surprise return of Laura so what a time to join the game heck yeah

Output: The party celebrated their victory after defeating a monstrous creature, with one member humorously asking "who's next" as the crowd cheered. They then realized their companion Percy had fallen in battle and quickly decided to administer healing magic to revive him. The dungeon master revealed that the challenging encounter had been selected by the online audience, much to the players' amused dismay. With Percy restored, the session concluded as the group prepared for a post-game Q&A.


Input: out it's awesome it's a good group of people what they do is fantastic if you have the opportunity please do go ahead and donate to the charity well thank you guys so much for tuning in for the fourth episode of critical role with the grand return of pike our cleric all laugh necessary glad to have you back i'm sure everyone here is glad to have the healer back especially today very happy today and a surprise return of laura so what a time to join the game heck yeah all right guys well we're gonna take a little bit to set up for the q and a those who can stay feel free to those who can't totally understand we have kids and families to get to those who can will be here for the q and a for the next hour or so one more thing just so they know we're following through we have the picture for you guys to sign so niareth won this when we reached a thousand subs so i think pike is all that's left for that pike is left to sign this player's handbook i haven't signed it and then we've got the picture so we'll pass that around while we're doing the set up do any of you have the gold marker i'll find it all right cool yeah guys we're gonna go ahead and set up for this we'll see you in a little bit for the q and a thank you everyone for watching thanks guys awesome day at critical role thanks bye hey nerds i'm wil wheaton i know right and guess what it is back international tabletop day has returned this year on april eleventh what is that you say what is tabletop day well if you don't know then shame on you international tabletop day is a worldwide celebration dedicated to the tabletop games we love to play with the people we love people we like people we've never even met before it doesn't matter last year we had over three thousand registered events across seven continents and over eighty countries that is amazing but this year we're going to make it even bigger wil wheaton how can we make it even bigger than last year that's what she said start now trend tabletop day on twitter because that was awesome broadcast your plans on the internet make a video share pictures start a blog create a dating profile for other sexy gamers in your area whatever you want celebrate it in your own way but we wanna hear from you be sure to use tabletop day or tabletopday to let us know it is up to you world visit tabletopday dot com to register your event or find one near you you can also download exclusive content and check out some of our favorite games we will be streaming our own live event here in los angeles for you to watch and there will be more on that soon you love tabletop games and we love you so join us in the global celebration on april eleventh play more games hey everybody i'm wil wheaton and i am coming to you semi live from the twitch tv set here at the geek and sundry stages in beautiful downtown burbank california i am here to tell you everything you ever wanted to know about tabletops rpg show coming this june but were afraid to ask or have been asking for close to a year and i've been saying we'll tell you at some point in the future you can consider this the big announcement it was incredibly difficult to cast this show we needed people who were very comfortable improvising who had experience playing role playing games and who were available when we planned to shoot the show it was surprisingly difficult to get a pool of people who fit all of those criteria and choose the most awesome among them so your cast playing in this wonderful show are yuri lowenthal laura bailey hank green and alison haislip i'm really excited to have these people all together they're all my friends they are all wonderful storytellers and they are going to be a tremendous party of adventurers i'm only gonna try to kill them a little bit the most frequently asked question since i announced that there was going to be a tabletop rpg show is hey wil wheaton why are you so awesome the second most frequently asked question is what system are you using to power this game first and foremost i needed a system that was going to support the way i play roleplaying games and that is telling a story

Output: The party celebrated the return of their cleric, Pike, and the surprise reappearance of Laura during the fourth episode. They took a moment to acknowledge the importance of having their healer back, especially after recent challenges. In a gesture of gratitude, they decided to sign a player's handbook and a picture for a subscriber who had helped them reach a milestone. With that business concluded, the group prepared to transition from the session into a Q&A with their audience.


Input: so uh they're all my friends and they're all wonderful storytellers and they're just going to be this tremendous party of adventurers um I'm only gonna try to kill them a little bit though the most frequent question I get since I announced this tabletop RPG show is like hey Wil Wheaton why are you so awesome and then the second most frequent is what sistem are you using to power this game well first I needed a sistem that supported how I play and that's telling a story collaboratively with me as the GM I looked at well known systems like Dungeons and Dragons and Savage Worlds I looked at systems I love like Fate Core and even the True Twenty a d twenty modern system and I really wanted to use something from an independent publisher you know bring something to the forefront that maybe not as many people know about but I want to play the way I played when I was a kid falling in love with RPGs just sitting around on a couch with friends not worrying about a map and just using our imaginations to tell a story but there's this sistem I really love it's elegant easy to learn easy to teach it just gets out of the way and that's the Adventure Game Engine that green running publishing used for the Dragon Age tabletop RPG I asked the developer like three years ago to please make it generic so we could build a setting on top they said yeah we really wanna do that and it's come together we've worked with green running to develop the fantasy Adventure Game Engine this is gonna take a lot from Dragon Age RPG and put it together to support our world which I've had the best time creating I sat down three months ago with some amazing writers just brainstorming what kind of world we wanted but I kept coming back to I love science fiction and I love fantasy why not put them together build a world inspired by the 1978 Heavy Metal movie and that amazing 80s Saturday morning cartoon Thundarr the Barbarian I thought it'd be great for characters to encounter goblinoid creatures but instead of crossbows they're using laser rifles we have this huge team of writers built an amazing codex with terrific logic for all these decisions and we're not gonna tell you what they are you might discover some during the season so what's this world called the title of our show is Titansgrave the Ashes of Valkana you can come up with your own ideas about what those words mean I know but I'm not telling cause that's not how the Wheaton talks Titansgrave the Ashes of Valkana will premiere right here at geek and sundry dot com on June second for those of you not in America it'll premiere on two June so I hope you're as excited as I am tune in and watch us for ten straight weeks of incredible high adventure storytelling and until then play more games um hey guys Ivan here the host of Game the Game on Geek and Sundry's new Twitch channel I'm here with Becca Ify and Hector to get you excited about International Tabletop Day so International Tabletop Day is on April eleventh and all our friends at AEG have brought us an amazing edition of Love Letter to play with you today that's right nerds it's Batman Love Letter now Batman Love Letter is a game of logic deduction and risk where you try to capture or hold the highest value card in your hand by the end of the rounds in the meantime we'll all be playing cards to eliminate each other but whoever has the highest-value

Output: The party gathered as their Game Master explained the chosen system, the Fantasy Adventure Game Engine, selected for its collaborative storytelling focus. They learned the setting would be a unique blend of science fiction and fantasy, inspired by works like *Heavy Metal* and *Thundarr the Barbarian*. The GM revealed the world's name, Titansgrave: The Ashes of Valkana, but withheld deeper lore for them to discover during play. To pass the time, the group played a session of *Batman Love Letter*, a game of deduction and risk.


Input: so we're getting you excited about international tabletop day so international tabletop day is going to be on april eleventh and all of our friends at aeg have brought us an amazing edition of love letter in order to play with you today thats right nerds its batman love letter now batman love letter is a game of logic deduction and risk in which you try to capture or hold the highest value card in your hand by the end of the rounds in the meantime well all be playing cards in order to eliminate each other but whoever has the highest value card at the end of the round will win a token so who will be the greatest detective in all of gotham its gonna be batman oh no no no no no itll be poison ivy you guys both are wrong its going to be bane its probably not gonna be robin now normally we will play until seven tokens but for the purposes of this video well play until three whoever gets three is gonna win lets play pass out your cards becca one to each burn the first yeah burn the first you have to burn a card before you even begin because there is a mystery card that isnt in play normally so keep that in mind when youre playing burning a card who are we playing with the batman villain firefly leave the jokes to me robin all right fine just so you know im doing a set at the comedy store and i need three friends to show up what night is it im busy that night i didnt even give you the time yet hector why dont you go first robin robin the man wonder okay here we go im gonna play robin ive got protection for my entire next round right so every single time you play a card normally it has an action that is attached to it so im playing catwoman who allows me to look at another players hand poison ivy noted now its your turn its my turn so i draw a card im gonna hang on to that one maybe and i also play catwoman and im going to look at banes hand thats terrible you make fun of me but you lack the understanding of my strategy i will play the batman i cant guess robins because he has immunity but i can guess poison ivys if he can guess correctly not only does he get a token but shes eliminated from the round and now theres only three of us available so its one step closer to victory whats your guess my guess is two face incorrect robin thanks batman all right here were going im also gonna play batman im gonna guess that poison ivy has the joker card incorrect darn it jiminey jillickers now you have to do something terribly embarrassing right or is that just half scrolls like maybe wear a robin costume cool sounds good oh already doing it great so great i have two cards and im going to also play the batman youve been picked on a lot poison ivy ive been picked on so much you played a batman get him batman im gonna guess youve got a poison ivy youre wrong no survivors all right im done go ahead poison ivy if anyones wondering why so many batman cards are being drawn its because there are five in the deck theres either one or two of all the other characters so i draw and i will play myself poison ivy this card says choose any player including yourself to discard his or her hand and draw a new card ivan you look pretty confident discard discard all right and draw a new hand had a two face its time for me to draw i have a hard time thinking that were gonna get anything out of you in that mask oh youll see im sorry what youll see what did he say i think its something about seals did you need help opening a seal ill play the batman and i will guess becca again she has the harley quinn incorrect geez were terrible at this game were really really bad im great at it sooner or later hes in there or hes there not there there not there there there where im going

Output: The party engaged in a game of Batman Love Letter, using character cards like Catwoman to spy on hands and Batman to make guesses. They made several incorrect guesses about opponents' cards, including Robin and Poison Ivy, resulting in no eliminations or tokens earned. One player, using Poison Ivy's ability, forced another to discard their hand. Ultimately, a player was eliminated after a successful guess, narrowing the field. The session revealed the group's difficulty with deduction, as multiple guesses failed.


Input: Here's the rewritten transcript with a noisy, imperfect speech-to-text style: get anything out of you in that mask uh oh you'll see um I'm sorry what you'll see what did he say I think it's something about uh seals or did you need help opening a seal uh I'll play the Batman and I will guess Becca again she has the Harley Quinn incorrect geez we're terrable at this game we're really really bad I'm great at it sooner or later he's in there or he's there not there there not there there there there where um I'm going to play my own version of Bane that was terrible you don't have the mask uh myself and another player can secretly compare hands and whichever hand is lowest is out so I'm gunning for you Poison Ivy because you kissed me that one time and then you didn't wanna hang out with me afterwards like that was really mean so uh I had ulterior motives I'm not looking Batman's not looking I'm out of the game you're out yes I had myself again which means you have a higher numbered card yes that is correct higher than five good detective work Batman real genious this one all right this is the last card of the deck which means after this whoever has the highest card wins duh Batman we know God I'm playing Robin Robin all right uh that makes me think he has the Joker well we'll find out won't we what do you got I had myself boom Harley Quinn beats Bane and the Joker beats Harley Quinn darn it I got you Joker take your token I will take my narcissistic token that has my symbol on it this is just what Batman needed an ego boost Batman needed an ego boost great Robin uh the deb chef the deb chef you seem to live with a multi billionaire yet can't afford contacts what's the deal with that no burn card no burn card oh great so since I won the last round I get to play first because I am the greatest detective and I got a Catwoman which means I think I'm interested in Bane's hand whatcha got Bane you got crap is what he's got choose any player including yourself to discard his or her hand and draw a new card Hector burn your card you got it but it's Robin and I'm not gonna tell you again all right I had Batman which is cool because he's the least value card in the game so that's just gonna help me out so I'm just gonna grab a new card all right I'm going to draw draw a card oof oof oof such a good card who are you gonna use it on Bane it's probably Batman I'm gonna do a Batman card Robin do you have Poison Ivy no my turn is over all right it's my turn Dick Grayson and Jason Todd Tim Drake Stephanie Brown Carrie Kelley John Blake help me okay here we go my girl Selina Kyle Catwoman bam and I wanna look at Bane's hand show me back here buddy show me back here whatcha got got this okay good to know all right I'm going to just play my ward Robin you're welcome grant me immunity Batman I'm gonna guess that Bane has Poison Ivy you're wrong you'll never have Poison Ivy I'll use Catwoman to look at another player's hands pause for error I will look at Poison Ivy's hand don't do it Bane don't fall into that venus fly trap get it 'cause it's a trap 'cause it's it's a plant based pun good job ah there it is ah ah Robin Robin go ahead okay here we go what's it gonna be I'm gonna play Batman and I'm gonna guess that Bane has a Batman card you are wrong for once he doesn't have a Batman card I want to point out to the watchers Hector looked at my hand oh I did that's true and saw me play the card he knew exactly which card was in my hand and chose the wrong card this is why you're the boy wonder and not Batman I'd like to point out that my chest has made me very uncomfortable and I'm clearly out of my element and dressing me up as

Output: The party engaged in a tense, multi-round card game using Batman-themed character cards. Players used special abilities, such as having Catwoman secretly view another player's hand, and made strategic guesses about their opponents' cards. After a close contest, the player using the Joker card ultimately won the round, earning a "narcissistic token" and giving Batman an ego boost. The session ended with the winner preparing to take the first turn in the next round, having secured a tactical advantage.